I think I've fallen under depression again...I'm not sure. The first and last time was when my mom wanted the divorce. I hated her then too, but I guess I had been hoping for the exact opposite. For my parents to be my parents again. So I crumbled. I felt I had nothing worth looking forward to, nothing to live for. Luckily, it was during the holidays, so my friends wouldn't actually see my dull expression. And luckily again, my best friend was there to reassure me. And it worked. I got up again, started picking up the pieces and kept moving forwad, trying my best not to look back. Two years have passed since then. Studying in 10th grade is one thing. But studying in 10th grade without any proper friends in your class? I'd rather volunteer for the Hunger Games. That's less painful than having to sit in a corner and look at others having fun. The class I had last year got completely shuffled, but there were at least three girls in each class. Everybody else got at least one person they could talk to. I got stuck with two girls who I dislike and will never mingle with. I can't blame my new classmates. They're nice and all. But they have their own groups of friends and I just feel left out. Apparently my best friend is feeling the same in her new class, even though her other best friend sits next to her. Both our grades are decreasing. It's not that we don't study. We do. And, for the first time since I started school, I didn't go down for P.E. It may not sound like a serious matter, but it is very serious. I never give up a chance to play sports. Emphasise on never. Instead, I sat at the corner of the class and read the Hunger Games book. It's more of a psychology thing I guess.
This, the second depression, is different. I have to act all happy and fake a smile and stuff in front of the others. I rarely fake happiness, 'cause I'm usually optimistic. This is just too much. I just wish I could've fallen into Tartarus instead of Percabeth...